054: getting the most out of your one on one

Do you have a 1:1 meeting with your manager? If not, why not? If you do, do you feel like you are getting value out of it?

Sadly, I think many 1:1 meetings are less effective than they could be. I think that many people – both managers and employees – don’t have a clear idea about the purpose of the meeting. And, because of this, its hard to make them effective. Let’s start with a discussion of what a 1:1 meeting is. It is a meeting where you and your manager met on a regular basis. The idea is that this is a recurring touchpoint between just the 2 of you. The reason 1:1s are important is because managers have multiple direct reports, so they need the opportunity to spend time with each one on a regular basis. If they don’t have something on their calendar, it would be easy for weeks, months, or even quarters to pass by without any meaningful conversation between the two of you. The demands of day-to-day work, special projects, fighting fires will all consume a work day about it can easily lead to a lack of time for something that is important, but not urgent.

1:1 meetings are important for a lot of reasons:

• It is a chance to spend 1:1 time getting to know each other.
• It is a chance to talk about sensitive topics that you don’t want to discuss in front of others.
• It’s a time to talk about your career goals, career development, and performance.
• It’s a time to understand the challenges you each are facing.
• It’s a chance for your manager to get to know your unique personality – what motivates you, what strengths you have, how you approach challenges, where your mind is at with respect to different topics.

So, 1:1 meetings are really important. But, they are in no way urgent. As a result, they can easily be put on the back burner. Rescheduled or worse, cancelled altogether. It is something you need to be aware of. Where many employees go wrong is to assume it is the manager’s responsibility to manage the 1:1. It is just a much your responsibility. Your relationship with your manager is very important for your career. Whether they are a good manager or no is not something you are going to be able to control. But, what you can control is your ability to meet 1:1 with your manager. With a bad manager, it might take more persistence, but it is within your control.

If you don’t currently have a 1:1 with you manager, you are going to take the bull by the horns and schedule one.

Now, let’s turn to the topic of what makes an effective 1:1. A 1:1 is a time to step outside of the day-to-day hustle and bustle. It is a time to check in about the bigger picture. To align on priorities, direction, and vision. In some cases, it is a dedicated time for addressing questions that you’ve saved up during the week. Many people treat it as a status meeting. Of course, your particular situation is going to dictate the content or agenda for your 1:1. It is hard for me to give any specific agenda that would work for everybody.
 
There are some things you can think about that will help you ensure that your 1:1 is giving you the benefits you deserve.

1. Consider how well you know your manager and how well they know you. You will be more successful in your career if you know you manager well and if they have a deep understanding of your personality, strengths, motivations, aspirations, etc. Having a deep personal professional relationship is a key factor in a successful career. If you do not have that yet, then some portion of your 11:1 agenda should be focused on building that. On the other hand, if you and your manager have been working together for years and you know each other well, then it likely doesn’t need to b part of the agenda.
2. Consider how much direction you need regarding your objectives and priorities. You should think about this with an eye toward your annual review, merit increase, bonus, etc. What do you need to accomplish in order to get the review you want, the merit increase you want, and to earn the bonus? Again, this is going to vary depending on your situation. If you are very early in your career, or new to the current role, you are likely going to need a lot more direction than if you have been in your job for a long time. What you want to get out of your 1:1 over the course of the year is constant and consistent feedback about how you are progressing toward your objectives. So, you’ll want to build this into your 1:1 agenda at whatever level makes sense for you. For example, I’ve been in my current role for nearly 4 years at the time of this recording. I know what is expected of me and what I need to do to accomplish it. I don’t spend a lot of time in my 11:1 on this topic. But, that was not the case 4 years ago.
3. How much of your 1:1 agenda should focus on giving your manager a status update on your accomplishments. You want to find a balance that allows you to keep your manager informed of what you are working on without it being a complete accounting of everything you do. How much does your manager know about what you are working on outside of your 1:1? If there is already a mechanism in place that keeps your manager informed, then you shouldn’t need to spend much time on status in your 1:1. But, if you are like me and you work pretty independently, then you may need to spend some time letting your manager know what you’ve been doing.

In episode 9, we talked about preparing for your annual review. You should be preparing for it monthly by documenting each month what you accomplished. This process helps you with your 1:1 also. You can refer to this list when meeting with your manager to highlight what you’ve done since your last meeting.

4. Think about your career development. What coaching do you need? Do you know what skills your manager thinks you should develop? Does your manager know what your long term career objective is? Are you at the point in your job where it is time to be talking about what’s next for you? Some portion of your 1:1 agenda should focus on this longer-term career development topic in whatever form makes sense for you in your current situation.
​
5. You may want to build time into your agenda for addressing current issues you are having that you need your manager’s help solving. This could mean helping to remove a roadblock, giving you a steer in the right direction, being a sounding board to talk through the issues with, or giving you the answer you need. You may or may not have current issues that need to be addressed, but if your manager’s time is hard to come by, using your 1:1 to get what you need might be a good option. So, those are some of the things you should consider when you are planning your 1:1 agenda. If you get our newsletter, you’ll get a guide this week that will help you think through this process and come up with an agenda. If not, you can sign up for our newsletter here and you’ll get access to our full back catalog of guides.

One thing to note about the agenda. You may not cover all of these topics each time. For example, it may make sense to only talk about career development topics each third time. Or, you may not talk about status as a regular agenda item, but some specific situation causes you to add it to the agenda for your next 1:1.

What I’m hoping you take away from this episode is that it is important for you to establish a 1:1 with your manager. If your manager hasn’t taken responsibility for it, then you should do so yourself. There are 2 people in the 1:1, and you are one of them. So, the responsibility is yours to make sure that you have this important mechanism in place to keep an open dialogue with your manager.